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Dealing with Anger Issues in Children

By Mark Slansky
Food Pyramid -

Anger in children is perfectly normal if it is controllable. It is a sign of growth and independence especially if it occurs in children between ages 2 and 4. Sometimes the kids may be trying to convey a certain message that no adult is getting. This frustration is what results into tantrums. Most young children may not be in a position to verbalize their feelings; learning to speak their language can help in a great way.

Anger issues in children are also manifested in kids who have just started going to school. This is a major adjustment from their normal routine and it is likely to throw them off balance a bit. Before they get used to their new routine, you can be sure of a few tantrums here and there, which are perfectly normal.

Children between ages 5 and 12 are also prone to tantrums. If it is not too severe, don’t try and stop it. During this time, the child starts to learn about self control and forgiveness. However, after he/ she has calmed down you can speak about it and see if he/she has learnt anything from it.

It is however very important to distinguish anger issues in children that are perfectly normal from those that are not. For instance, if your child is inflicting pain on himself/herself, a friend or a caregiver, it may be time to seek professional help. Sometimes these tantrums are an indication of a deeper problem such as abuse.

Dealing with anger issues in children can be quite a task and requires a lot of patience. First, it is important to remember that just as we are susceptible to anger as adults, so are our children. The best lesson you can teach your child is that it is okay to become angry but that he/she needs to deal with the consequences. By doing so, your child will learn to exercise self control. He/she will also learn that sometimes one may do certain things at the spur of a moment that may end up hurting someone and at the end of the day it is not worth it. In the long run, such a child will learn how to control his/her anger and will do everything with prudence.

Communication is also very important in controlling anger issues in children. Teach your kids to share all their feelings. This will help them not to bottle up any resentment and both of you will establish a good and trusting relationship with each other such that in future, no matter how grave a situation may be, your child will be able to confide in you.

Parents need to understand their children, this way they can tell if the anger is justified. A good parent-child relationship is essential to avoid both anger issues in children and aggression in them. While anger may just last for a moment, aggression is a continuous process where the child may be hell-bent on hurting someone or him/herself. It is therefore important to lay all the cards on the table and to create a trusting relationship, this way anger in your child will be controllable as both of you will have a great understanding.

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